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Mother to Son Poem

My son, my beautiful boy, I will always remember the day, that terrible day, when you told us…. I still remember the telephone call, I can hear your dad saying "no son, oh, no son, please don't let it be true" Ever loving, ever caring, how it upset you to tell us the devastating news You lived so far away; I needed to see you right now, hold you, comfort you; I needed to protect you from pain Was it my fault? Was it because I was only sixteen when I had you? They told me I was too young That must be it, I hadn't been a good mum, and I'm to blame We talked on the phone, I visited often You battled nine months of chemotherapy, tiredness and sickness It almost broke my heart to see you in such pain Even though you were grown, you were still my baby, my little boy I never told you, but your dad cried when we cut off your hair You said you felt lucky; you had excellent treatment, good friends and family who were always there for you I said I felt selfish, my son had cancer - how can that be lucky? How much I learnt from you How I prayed, begged for you to get better, never giving up hope and then the moment came…. You were clear Such joy, celebration and happiness, yet why did I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach - you were not out of the woods yet Four years on, I watch you Enjoying your life to the full and planning babies of your own I celebrate living everyday, I treasure every moment and take nothing for granted I too now feel lucky I know I'm not to blame Together we have fought Cancer and not only won the battle but are better people for the experience

Sue Nugent Joint winner Liverpool Echo Pause for Hope Poetry Competition 2011

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